#23. If It's Heavy, Drop It.

David* shuffled up to our table, backpack on his back and a shopping bag in each hand, along with his sandwich.  His load was made more difficult by the bandage on his right hand, limiting the mobility in his fingers.

“Please, have a seat,” we said.

I went to get him a cup of water, as I could see that he’d already had enough to carry.  

When I returned, he was already in the midst of sharing his story with my friend—how he had essentially lost everything in his life except for what he carried with him in those bags.

“This is it, this is my life,” he said, pointing out his old military uniform.  

“You know, you don’t have to carry that burden on your own,” my friend said.  You can take it, take all of your problems, and put them at the foot of the cross.”

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

David’s eyes filled with tears, as if he wanted to believe that what she said could be true.  But he shook his head.  “No.  I can’t.”

We talked for quite a while that day, but at the end of the conversation, he picked up his bags again, and he left.  “Oof,” he grunted as he swung his backpack over his shoulder.  “It’s heavy.”

"My yoke is easy and my burden is light."

A few nights later, in a totally different part of the city, I stood waiting for some friends.  I looked around me, not sure from which direction they would come.  I saw a man with a bandaged hand, carrying two bags, walking toward me.

“David?” I asked.  

It was him.  He stopped and we talked.  His burden had only become heavier since the last time I saw him.  I asked him if he needed anything, some food or some money to pay for lodging that night.

“No, no,” he said.  “I found a good spot near the Métro; I’m on my way there now to meet a friend.”

While we were talking, another man came up and asked if we had any money so he could get a bite to eat.  I offered him some and, after he left, again asked David if there was some way I could help him.  

“No, there’s nothing,” he said.  He was convinced that it was up to him to resolve his problems on his own, even though he had no idea how he was going to do it.

I let him know I’d be praying for him anyway, and he picked up his bags and left, saying he hoped we’d cross paths again someday.

I hope so, too.  I hope that the next time I see him, he’ll have some good news to share.  I hope that the next time I see him, he’ll have given up trying to carry his burden on his own.

I can understand how David feels.  I’m a pretty stubborn and independent person.  I don’t like to ask for help.  I don’t like to admit that I can’t figure something out on my own.  But over the years, Jesus has made it clear to me that apart from Him, I can do nothing (John 15:5).  Every time I try, I fail.  Every.  Time.  And it's exhausting.

I don't know the extent of David's burdens, but I do know that they are too heavy for him to carry on his own.  And I know that Jesus is ready and waiting to pick them up, as He has done for me, and as He can do for each person.  But first, we have to be willing to put them down.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  -Matthew 11:28-30

*name changed

Trimming Down the To-Do List

I love the feeling of checking things off my to-do list.  But in France I have learned that a realistic to-do list needs to consist of just one or two items per day.  Sometimes it's my own exhaustion from language and cultural differences that slows me down; often it's the French business/government system itself.

For example, here is what I did on Friday:

1. I woke up at 07h00 in the apartment where I've been staying since my arrival in order to get ready to be at my new apartment before 09h00, to wait for my furniture delivery that would come between 09h00 and 12h00.
2. I had filled my big suitcase with things to take over to the new place (including a convection oven that I carried home from the store Thursday night), so I wheeled that along with me.
3. I stopped at the ATM on the way, because I can only take so much out per day, and I need to pay my rent next week.
4. While I waited for the furniture delivery, I worked on some things in the apartment, including setting up my new printer (which I also carried home from the store--different trip).  I discovered that the printer didn't come with a USB cable, so that means I'll be taking another trip to the store.
5. Furniture was delivered by 10h30, yay!  So I locked up and walked to the bank to deliver a signed paper saying that I give the bank permission to withdraw money from my account so that I can pay my electric bill online.  (Note:  This may seem like a bit of a nuisance, but I bet it cuts down on Internet identity theft.)
6. I went to the SFR store to ask about getting Internet for the apartment.  I chose a plan and was told to come back Saturday morning to sign the contract.  (Update:  Contract signed; the box will be delivered to a parcel service at the end of next week.  I'll pick it up there, and then I'll try to figure out how to set it up myself!)

All of this happened before noon, and after that, I was ready for a nap!  It is easy for me to wear myself out trying to be productive; and what usually happens is that my time spent alone with God is the first thing to go--when in reality that is the most important thing.  So instead of running myself ragged, I am learning to slow down and prioritize.

     As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.  She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.  
     But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
     “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”  
     -Luke 10:38-42

A photo from my new apartment!