#24. Loving People is Messy.

Loving people is messy.

Sometimes you bend over backwards to help someone, and they don't even say thank you.  Sometimes you give away the coat off your back, and they ask for your shoes, too.  You can give and give and give, while others take and take and take.

So how much is too much?  When do you stop?  When should you say no?  Is there such a thing as too much love?

I think many societies would say yes.  You have to protect yourself, preserve your own interests.  "Put on your own oxygen mask first, then help others!"

But what would Jesus say?  How much was too much for him?  When did he stop loving?

He didn't.  His love took him all the way to the cross.

He didn't love us because we deserved it or because he wanted something in return.  He loved us while we were still sinners, while we were still his enemies (Romans 5:7-8).

"Love brought Christ down from heaven to a manger in a stable; love led him from the stable to a cross on Calvary; love carried him from the cross into the tabernacles of our churches; and it's the coming of the Lord of Glory into our tabernacles and into our lives that has made all the difference in life to us" (from Drink Christ's Chalice Lovingly, by Sister Mary Michael).

Because of this amazing, undeserved, unconditional love that Christ has shown us, the natural response is for us to reflect that same love.

Each of us is called to "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind" and to "love your neighbor as yourself" (Luke 10:27).

But who is my neighbor?  The expert in the law asked this question because he wanted an "out"--he expected that love would have a limit.

If we could read his thoughts back then, they'd probably be about the same as our own thoughts today:

God, tell me exactly who I really need to love--where can I draw the line?  Ok, orphans and widows, sure.  But what about my annoying co-worker?  Or the smelly man on the metro?  Or that guy who is always asking for money when I come out of the store?  Why doesn't he just get a job?

I tried loving that lonely woman at church, but it's just so exhausting to spend time with her.  She asks me for all kinds of help, and she never even says thank you.

I gave and I gave to that friend, and she turned around and talked about me behind my back and ruined my reputation.  Surely you don't expect me to give any more to her?

The answer that the expert in the law received from Jesus--and I believe the same answer we receive today--is that we are called to love anyone and everyone, not just those who are like us or even those who will appreciate it.  We are called to love when it's inconvenient and even when it hurts.

God, I'm not capable of loving like you.  But I want to try.  Help me to keep loving when it gets messy and even when it hurts.  Thank you for loving me first and for teaching me how to love others.


And Jonah stalked
to his shaded seat
and waited for God
to come around to his way of thinking.

And God is still waiting for a host of Jonahs
in their comfortable houses 
to come around
to his way of loving.

-You Jonah by Thomas Carlisle